just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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