My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
