Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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