i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
