Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
