Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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