The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
