getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We are all done wearing pants today
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
