Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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