is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
