It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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