Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
