Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
