..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
