i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
