dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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