Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I cannot find my penis.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
