So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
