yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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