So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
