You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
