so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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