You're completely useless in the revolution.
even my farts smell like vagina
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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