is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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