No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
