so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
