I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
where does the pee come out of this thing
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
