are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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