I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
