sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
