Porn is love you can see.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
