Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
