yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
