Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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