Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
