we're blogging at a bar
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
