I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
