gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
