Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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