he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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