i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
