hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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