Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
