she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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