Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
