i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
