life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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