the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
