Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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