Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
