yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
